Here is a great topic about how to build Confidence about your work. How to deal with your own inner critic and how to deal with the judgements of others.
For me personally – this took time to develop. I still have fears and doubts. That chatter may always be a part of my daily inner dialogue. However, it doesn’t rule my actions as much as it used to. Fear and insecurity used to paralyze me. I was so afraid and so filled with self judgement that I could barely look people in the eye, or share my opinion. I didn’t have many opinions unless they came directly from whomever I was dating at the time. My opinions were their opinions. I was crawling out of my skin and had such discomfort within my self that my life was just a huge reaction to that discomfort. Whatever I could do to avoid feeling it – I would do. And that led me to make all sorts of decisions that were harmful to myself including abusing drugs and alcohol, smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day, changing my clothes 3 times a day because I didn’t feel “right”, not valuing who I was or thinking I had anything of value to share with the world, lacking any sort of self confidence, and not really showing up to face life. I felt a deep need to fill up what felt like an emptiness inside of me. I filled it with all the above and nothing really worked.
After I got sober and started to face life on life’s terms….I had to face myself. I sought help with growing my self esteem in many various ways. As my self esteem grew, the more available I was to show up more in my life. Therapy, Spiritual Practice, self help books, expressing myself through my artwork, etc. It all built on itself. It helped me create a foundation from which I could figure out what made my heart sing. Creating my artwork was a major life changing and self esteem building process. I was able to express in my work a lot of the feelings I had about life and about myself. I didn’t have to say all of that out loud yet it was still getting worked through and looked at. The meanings were often hidden in my artwork so I could show it to others without feeling totally exposed. Id did feel a bit “naked” when I shared my work at first – especially when it was so deep and personal to me. It took time to work through that, by continuing to show the work and move through that discomfort.
I think confidence is something we all work on. We had it when we were younger – but lost it somewhere in junior high maybe? Don’t get me started on Junior high….
Not everyone loses it. I’ve been so impressed with those kids I see who really KNOW who they are and are filled with a sense of purpose and a knowing inside that they are valuable. I LOVE seeing that. I love seeing people who never really lost that. It encourages me to keep going! It’s a mirror that shows me that it is possible.
I think the Toltec Work I did with Miguel Ruiz really helped me push through a lot of the self limiting beliefs I had that kept me from living my life to it’s fullest. I looked at all the thoughts and beliefs I had that were holding me back and recognized – through years of work – that I have a mind – but I am not my mind. The chatter is still there – but I have learned that I am not those limiting thoughts.
One thing that has helped me a great deal is to take responsibility for the fact that this is my life – and I am the only one who can change the direction that I’m heading. Putting my artwork out there for all eyes to see and judge ( good or bad ) can only harm me – if I believe on some level that I’m not valuable. Believe you me, when I was in art school – this was exactly how I felt – you can imagine going through art critiques with a group of “real” artists and ME! ( I didn’t think I was a “real” artist – I was just a girl who was recently sober and liked to draw and paint and take photos ) I hid in the back of class and hoped no one asked me to share. When it came to my turn my entire body wanted to shrivel up and disappear.
But I kept moving forward, taking actions, and learning how to deeply care about myself and for myself.
This is an ongoing practice. I’m not done with this process. It’s a journey and I love the adventure. I’m deeply curious about HOW to live the best life I can. I seek out personal freedom from these limiting beliefs – because I feel like life is so incredible when I am fully IN IT.
The Soul*Full eCourse is the result of my passionate desire for all of us to really feel empowered, free to live fully, deepen our connection to ourselves and the outside world, let go of those fears and act with more love towards ourselves. It’s a brave thing to show up and move forward when fear feels like it has you.
I encourage you to take a look at your fears and limiting beliefs that hold you back.
What is holding you back?
Is it time to let these things go?
Are you addicted to the habitual story you tell yourself that you are a piece of Sh*t? ( did I just say Sh*t? why yes….yes I did and I’m not sorry! )
Are you attached to the story you tell yourself around not being enough?
How is that serving you?
It IS serving you in some way to hold on to those thoughts and beliefs. Dig deep. excavate. Let go.
Write down these beliefs that are on constant repeat in your mind and create a ritual around releasing them. Tear up the page and toss it into the fireplace or in the trash. Write down the opposite and post those all over the house. What sort of ritual can you create for yourself – that feels right for you – to help you let go? Is it a walk in the woods to bury your page of beliefs in the earth? Is it a trip to the ocean to write them out in the sand and watch the water wash over them? Think on this today and make a date with yourself to do this one act. Give yourself the opportunity to shift your attention from fear – to love. This is a loving act and you certainly deserve it.
Imagine if it was easy. What if it was easy to share your work with the world. What if you were embraced fully by people you thought would judge you. Imagine if your body, heart and mind were filled with the kind of confidence and sense of purpose that made you take risks you never thought were possible?
That is possible you know.
It really truly is.
Give yourself permission.
See what happens when you start shifting your awareness away from those limiting beliefs – toward fully loving yourself and KNOWING you are meant to live that life you always dreamed of.
Leave a comment below on ways you have conquered fear – and taken risks that have helped you feel empowered and free.
What helps you when you feel fear?
What tips can you share?
What books, spiritual teachers, eCourses, retreats, mentors have helped along the way?
If you did the letting go ritual – how did it feel for you? What have you learned about yourself from reading this post?
xo
*c
If you are interested, It’s not too late to join us for the April Session of the Soul*Full eCourse.
If you feel the call to start living a more Soul*Full life – join us!
